Mental Break

Today I needed to take a mental break. At work. During office hours.

I grabbed the office phone and headed outside to the porch. The porch has lounge chairs neatly lined up, and I chose the one directly in the middle.

Not too sunny. Not too shady. But the one that allowed me 10 peaceful moments, outside, breathing in the fresh air.

It's not everyday, while at work, that you can do this.

Our porch overlooks all of the palm trees in the yard and all the other landscaping trees needed to furish lush, tropical yards with. I can smell the fresh air. Hear the traffic driving by on the busy highway, and I can feel the warmth of the sun on my feet.

My head has been spinning with un-Godly thoughts. Thoughts that make me question everything I say, have said, do, and have done. I'm not sure where I am in my life, or how long it will take me to feel like I'm a human being again.

I know that every day is a struggle in my world. A struggle to identify the hurt person that I see, and feel. I'm acting out, as I shouldn't, and am only hurting myself even more.

I need and want to feel like myself again.... But just don't know where to find Abbey.

~ A ~